April Fools is my jam. As far as I am concerned, it is one of the best days of the year. It is a day when you can screw with people and there are few repercussions.
I have always loved it. As a child, I screwed up a lot and I realized, after having my mom in tears, that jokes about people dying are not cool. I have come a long way.
As many of my friends can attest, I can be relentless. Now…imagine the torment I inflict on my own children and incredibly gullible priest. My priest has fallen or been the victim of terror over the years. One year, I was very pregnant and I pretended to fall in the shower. I banged the shower walls and then calmly sat on the ground waiting for him to arrive. He did. Screaming, “Why? No!” Tears streaming down his face. He had forgotten what day it was. It was cruel. Maybe too cruel, so I started doing trickier things. Like the year I put multiple signs on his car that said, “Honk and wave at me. It is April Fools day and I have no idea this sign is on the car.” He was so distracted that so many people were waving at him. He was distressed by his new found popularity.
This year was hard. April Fools day also happened to be Easter Day. I was rushing preparing for both and I had to pull an all nighter to prepare. Freezing food, plastic wrapping toilets, filling Easter eggs with grapes and croutons, trashing my kids rooms….it was a lot. The pranks were good. Green water poured out of the taps, food was tainted, people were mad. My job was done.
This year something magical happened. My kids actually pulled off pranking me. At the end of the day, I was wiped out and headed to brush my teeth. As the pressed on the toothpaste tube, this gross milky substance shot out. They replaced all of my toothpaste. Impressed? I was. I thought that was it. I started to swig my mouthwash when I began to gag. They replaced it with vinegar dyed blue. It was nasty. I was so proud.
If my kids learn nothing from me, at least they have understood the joy of comedy. The students became the master. I went to bed happy.