Free Christmas Village includes creepy elves everywhere

Who doesn’t love a free Christmas village and market? Well, if you don’t…stop reading.

My family loves these things. Cheesy Christmas music.  Decorations galore.  The Portuguese really embrace the holidays.  The markets are full of roasted chestnuts, which sound great in theory, but in reality they taste like ass.  Plus, my favorite drink, Ginja.  This is a sweet cherry liqueur served in an edible chocolate cup for €1 per shot.  I discovered these last Christmas and life hasn’t been the same since. Liquid gold, my friends.

The one element of these markets that throw us all off are the creepy elves and characters that loom around every corner.  Like the elf in the picture below…just chilling in a tree.  Pippa was terrified.

Or these creeps at the entrance….

It is always a mixed collection of odd characters.  A psycho snowman, a weird fairy or my personal favorite, the cross dressing Santa’s helper.  One of these people expressed an intense interest in my priest.  She had a painted on mustache and a crazy wig and told my priest that he was very handsome.  I promptly said that he was available and that they would make a good couple.  The elf said that she was interested while speaking in a bizarre, fake male voice.   My priest just laughed in that “this is awkward and I want to disappear” kind of way.  My youngest daughter told the elf to back off because her dad was taken.  The elf wandered off and tried to pick up another dad.  Not the encounter you would expect at a Christmas fair, but it is one I have begun to enjoy.  Maybe…a little too much.  I am trying to squeeze in at least two more markets this season. You can’t buy for this type of comedy/torture.

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